What perplexes you?  What are you thinking and what do you wonder about us?  I am here to help!  Comment your questions and let this Communication Guy have a go at it.

Is it possible others are in the same situation?  We would like to date but that’s all.  A little bit of night cuddling, but not with any aim toward a “committed relationship”.  

Remember when we were in school, and we dated all the time?  There might be some going steady, but it never felt like it was a trial for a long-term relationship necessarily.

When you get older, (I’m in my mid-40s)  it seems like everyone wants to size you up for your “long-term potential”.  I don’t want that.  

I met a woman who said she doesn’t want to start a relationship.  I said, “I just wanted to start with a dinner.”  Why is that so impossible?  Why can’t we just get together for fun?  Take away some of the goal and live in the now.

I want someone in my bed tonight.  But not necessarily tomorrow night.  But the weekend’s coming.

How long do we wait before we start to settle for something less than what our ideal mate is?  if life is meant to be shared, does it matter that it is with the most perfect person for us?  Or is a person more important than the perfection of that one true love?

Personally, I think it DOES matter that we not settle for less and agree to be alone until we find that one person who is really the right one for us.  I believe she/he is out there.

But as Tom Petty sings, the waiting is the hardest part.

We want that person to be a stranger no longer.  When we meet, we will have realized the bumps and bruises we had on the way led us to them. 

But how many bumps do we need?  If it’s not happening, is that the world telling us we are not ready

Or could it be that the OTHER PERSON is not ready, and we have to wait some more?  Maybe that’s it.  Maybe we don’t know why if we feel ready, nothing is happening.  But maybe we have to be patient for them. 

I don’t like the waiting, but I realize that is part of it.  We cannot force this stranger into our lives, we have to let them in when the time is right and they enter our sphere of consciousness.

Maybe we are ready, but not ready for them.  Maybe it’s the same for them, too, with us.  We just have to trust that they’re on their way. 

When you arrive, I’m right here!

That’s the point I want to always keep in the forefront of my mind.  Living now is imperative to living at all.  Not putting off the vacations, or the lunches with friends, or the adventures (until a better time). 

Now is the best time.  We need to live now, because now is all we have.  And we don’t know when it will end, so stop saving it.

Do it.  Use it.  Use it up.  Exhaust the possibilities.  Grab life by the horns today!!  Today!!!

Really, what are we waiting for?  Time is moving forward.  We are not stopping the wheels of life.  We are missing out if we are not engaged fully. 

Make plans for tonight.  Tomorrow.  This weekend.  Next weekend.  And the next. 

Go on a road trip.  Try a new sport.  Ask her/him out.  Visit a friend.  Book the flight.  Buy the concert tickets.  Do whatever you want to do.  But do it now. 

Stop wating, start living!!!

That’s the secret of life.  Whether it’s together with friends and friend, together with a lover, or whatever (and not to knock alone time sometimes), but it’s the together time that counts.  That time we spend with others we love is the time that is the most important, I think.

Everything is more fun shared.  That’s the point I have to make.  That’s the meaning of life, I think.

We need to be connected.  I would bet most criminals and troubled souls have no one meaningful in their lives.  I would bet that if we all had love surrounding us, we wouldn’t fight, we wouldn’t go to war. 

John Lennon really had it right: All you need is love.  Love is the answer.  Love makes it all okay.  Even tough times.  Even troubled times.

Just to be able to walk those roads with someone, and not alone.

Love is the answer.   It’s all that matters.

When people are together, and if they are choosing to be together, why do they act so mean sometimes?  I mean what can come from that except distance?

What can result except protective walls going up to be ready for the next attack?

If you really cannot help but be mean, (and if you don’t know when you are, take a cue if your partner is telling you it hurts!) then get out of the relationship.  No one needs that kind of treatment from the one they are supposed to be closest to.

That they choose to be closest to.

That they wish to be closest to.

Meanness has no place in a relationship.  Or in a friendship.  Or anywhere, for that matter.  You can deal with any situation by choosing to “take the high road” and saying whatever you need to say with respect and dignity.

Without snideness and cutting words.  Without arrogance.  In a loving way. 

You can.  And so can she or he.